pundercracker:

Skulking along the mountains, clutching buzzsaw hand extensions, cometh Pundercracker! And he gives a cruel roar:

“Brace yourself, oh human speck of dust! I plunder like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage!!”

….Holy SHIT that is totally me.

Running over the candy store, brandishing gilded boxing gloves, cometh Brokusatsu! And he gives an ominous roar:

“I’m going to pound you so heinously, you will polymorph into a horned demon!”